Il y a des jours où je ressens un cruel besoin d'être aimée.

Impôt-cible

Je n'esperais plus, il faut dire que ça faisait au moins deux mois que je l'avais planté. Mais j'ai un Cèdre du Liban qui a sorti le bout de son nez. Un sur dix graines plantées, ça semble peu mais c'est déja énorme ! Enfin, j'espère qu'il va survivre et se plaire chez moi, jusqu'à ce qu'il soit trop grand pour y tenir. Pour l'instant, il ne fait même pas 5 centimètres :-)

LinkedIn, Viadeo, les copains d'avant, MySpace, FaceBook...
ça réseaute dans tous les sens, chacun ses raisons.

Se retrouver. Retrouver les autres et se retrouver soi même.

A quoi ça sert au fond de réseauter ? Se construire un réseau professionnel, retrouver des copains, faire connaitre ce qu'on aime... Ouais, bof bof.

J'ai retrouvé un ancien copain sur les copains d'avant, un autre sur LinkedIn. Un copain de lycée et un copain de fac. J'aimais vraiment beaucoup le deuxième en plus, c'est lui qui m'a fait découvrir Hendrix.
Et voilà dans sa description il a coché "get back in touch". Et moi je pense à cliquer sur "Contact him". Mais voilà je ne le ferai jamais.

Et puis voilà, on se crée des tas de comptes dans des tas d'endroits. Mais on est seuls quand même.
Je sais pas si c'est pareil partout mais par exemple, les gens que je fréquente pendant le plus d'heures de ma semaine sont quand même mes collègues. Mais si tu proposes une sortie, un ciné, tu as l'impression qu'on te regarde comme un extra-terrestre. Oulah, faut aller se retouver sur Paris, mais c'est super loin! Ou alors si c'est des mecs de ton âge, ils vont penser que tu les dragues et si c'est des filles, euh, non merci j'ai pas envie d'aller voir Transformers ou le Surfer d'Argent. Mais c'est sympa d'avoir proposé.
Et quand je dis que j'aime bien Lynch, Lars von Trier (qui ça ?) et que j'écoute les Pixies et Métallica, les gens me regardent d'un air étonné. Humm... Elle est bizarre An'.

Bref. Purée, pourquoi mes vrais amis sont super loin ou sont devenus trop... en couple ? Argh.

The firts time I "met" Bowie was in  1997 I think. I was 24 years old and The boy-friend I had bought the "Earthling" album.  I loved  very much my  boy-friend (his name was Franck) but when he tried to initiate me into David Bowie, it just didn't work. I  found all the songs from the "Earthling" album so violent and agressive. I also disliked His appearence (his goatee, his coat... Bowie was so thin, and he looked so cold and distant... at least that was what I though at that time... I was so young ;-) ). I probably heard "Let's  dance" before but I didn't like it either.

In september 2000, I've started  a new job, in a new company . There was a place in there where we could borrow CDs. I found there 3 Bowie albums "Hours", "The man who sold the world" and "Hunky Dory". Surely I"ve though about Franck when I saw them (We broke in 1998) and I wanted to try. So I borrowed "Hours" and "Hunky Dory".
First, I've been listening to the "Hours" album. It was a very sweet music, quite different from what I remembered of "Earthling". I really, really liked it. Then I've listen more carefully to the lyrics and I found them very beautiful.I ve liked their sound, their sense, how they were so full of emotions. I especially loved "If I'm dreaming my life" and "Survive". The first one was full of sense for me... How many times did I felt like my life was like a dream. I was still thinking to much of Franck and I was not even sure that he had really been part of my life (even if we had been five years together). That's for these very same reasons that I was touched by "Survive"
SO I was very fond of "Hours"
I lend "Hunky Dory" to my new boy-friend (sorry if the this story becomes a little confusing but is name was Franck too). He was (and still is probably) a very clever person and with very good tastes. He told me "Hunky Dory" was very very good. And when he gave it back to me, I listened to it very carefully. How can I explain? I put the CD on and it has started with the first notes of the fabulous "Changes".I Loved it immediatly. When this song is  playing, i just can help singing "Ch-ch-ch-changes". And it's the same thing with "Oh! You pretty things". the tune of both is so stirring.
I've really fallen in love with "Hunky Dory". Franck liked  it  very much also. His favourite one from this album was "Life on  mars?". Mine at the very beginning was "Quicksand"

It was so strong for me to discover a singer with these two albums, so different from each other  and beeing both so good and so intense. I just couldn't  stop listening "Hunky Dory" and "Hours" all day long.
And...
Should  I tell you that? I felt a little fascinated by this long and  blond haired young guy on the pictures inside the CD. He  was so beautifull. But his beauty was a little strange. You know what I mean?

And so... my first Bowie Album was "Hunky Dory" because I've  bought it after that. And as in the store I've gone I found a special package of 3 CDs "Bowie at the BEEB" at a  very good price (about 15£), I took it also. Franck was with me at the store and he just said "These are songs that have been recorded at the BBC, one friend of mine told me It is very good". That was a sufficient reason to buy it. And Franck took one "Bowie at the BEEB to.

I've had the same passion for "Bowie at the BEEB" that I had for "Hunky Dory" before. It was even stronger if I remember well. I liked especially the first CD. I found the lyrics very sweet. I was very very fond of the first song "The pleasent sunset in your eyes will tempt to lies every men that looks you way" .  They was something very sensual with this song. David's voice was so hot when he sang the words "In the heat of the morning" and " And I'll tell you I love you, in the heat of the morning". This song and many others from these CDs were affecting not only my emotions but my senses also (Like "Let me sleep beside you"). I' ve been listening to them so many times without getting tired if that. I loved "In the heat of the morning", " London bye ta ta", "Karma man" (It is still one of my very very very favourites) and any of the two first CDs. the third CD is the recording of June the 27th 2000 at the BBC Radio theatre but I didn't like it as much as the others. I was much more sensitive to David's seventies.

At this time  my knowledge in music was rather poor. May be it still is but I try to change that.
A few time after I've gone to the CD store because this music was so special for me and I wanted a second Bowie Album at home. It was almost a random  choice but my second Bowie album was... "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars".  Well... It was not only  a random choice. I admit that the cover picture was a lot responsible.
Why did I choose this album... If I try to explain... There are so many things with that cover.
If we just look at the title, It seems to have a whole story in it, to tell a whole life. It has something fascinating and something tragic (The Rise and Fall...). It sounds like a tragic tale. A poetic but tragic tale. There were also many contradictions in it: Rise and Fall, Star and Dust. Even in the picture: the eye gets caught by the bright blond haired guy on the cover. He is so luminous, and the place where he stands looks very dark(But he's got the thing to light the dark: his guitar!). There is a big contrast.
And when we read the tittle we can't help beeing puzzled... Who is Ziggy Stardust? And who are the Spiders from Mars?

May be it took a little more time to get into "The rise and fall... " than in 'Hunky Dory". I could say that "Ziggy Stardust" is more profound. We find the same sensuality  but with something painfull in it.

I can't remenber well. I think my favourite song from this album at the beggining was "Ziggy Stardust". And now it's "Lady Stardust" but for the same reasons, the same reasons that make me love all the songs of this album: their sensuality. When I'm listening for these songs, I can't just listen with my ears, I can't just feel these songs with my ears but with all my senses. They touch my ears, my eyes, my skin and by this way they touch my heart. As I told you, I didn't knew much about Bowie at that time. But when I bought and start listening "The Rise and Fall...". It was obvious that David was not only singing and playing "Ziggy" but he really was beeing Ziggy and the members of his band really were "The Spiders from Mars".
I do not exagerate when I say these songs touch all my senses. For me, this album is made of much more than simple songs. It's a great piece of Art. When David starts singing "People stared at the make up on his face...", "he was awfull nice" or "how I sighed when theye ask..." I can feel so many things inside such as love (yes I can imagine very well this beautiful boy singing), admiration, dispair... I feel the very same thing when he sings "Ziggy stardust" , same love,same joy, same dispair, same sadness "when the kids had killed the men, he had to break up the band"

This period when I discovered Bowie was very special. I felt l ike I was discovering music for the first time but in a new way.

After that I was ready for ...TMWSTW..!

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Il y a des soirs où je dois être dans un état d'esprit particulier, car j'écoute certaines chansons et je me sens envahie d'émotion. J'ai même envie de pleurer.

J'ai pris à la médiathèque un DVD dans la série

                Ed Sullivan's rock and roll classics.

Pour commencer Elvis, puis les Beattles, les Beach Boys ... Viendront James Brown, CCR.
Mon oeil a dû briller quand je suis tombée dessus dans la section "acquisitions récentes". Que du bon. Je crois que je vais me l'offrir. Et le reste de la série aussi ?

J'aime par dessus tout voir des rock'n'roll stars s'exprimer en live, ça me fait des chatouilles dans l'estomac.

Bon dimanche les amis.

J'ai lu sur un autre blog que l'enfance est une période de bonheur insouciant.

Quand j'étais enfant, je n'étais pas insouciante. Pour beaucoup de gens l'enfance est une partie de la vie où on s'amuse, on est chouchoutés et aucun problème. J'avais déja l'inpression d'avoir un poids énorme sur les épaules. Il fallait plaire à mes parents, être à la hauteur, être la meilleure. Tellement peur de ne pas être aimée. D'être méprisée même. Je ne descendais pas jouer avec les autres fillettes de mon quartier. Ma mère qui m'a toujours sur-protégée devait avoir peur que l'on me kidnappe, ou que j'aie de mauvaises fréquentations. Pourtant elles ne faisaient que jouer à la dinette en bas de mon immeuble.
Elles ne venaient pas chez moi non plus. ça dérangeait mon père. Mes parents n'ont jamais été très sociables. Par la force des choses, je suis devenue comme eux. On fini par aimer sa solitude, même si parfois elle nous fait mal. Par moments, j'ai envie de voir du monde et je le fais, mais j'ai tellement besoin de me retrouver.
Ce qui est sûr c'est que je suis plus heureuse adulte que je ne l'étais enfant.

Je vais dormir.
Demain mon chef et le chef de mon chef seront en vacances. Cela ne veut pas dire que je me tournerai les pouces mais ça fera deux casse-pieds en moins ;-)
Le soir j'irais peut être un peu à la piscine, suivant mon humeur.

Au fait, à ceux qui ne l'ont pas encore vu, je recommande vivement le dessin animé Persépolis.

Parce qu'il est vraiment bien.

Je dois retrouver un ancien collègue pour dîner avec lui. Je lui demande s'il veut aller à un endroit en particulier. Il me répond "non, non, pour l'endroit je te fais confiance". Facile, non ? ça n'a l'air de rien comme ça, mais je suis déçue. Je trouve que les mecs d'aujourd'hui manquent carrément d'esprit d'initiative, alors qu'il ne faut pas grand chose pour surprendre, voire faire rêver. Vous me direz, ce n'est qu'un dîner. Oui d'accord mais aller manger dehors pour moi, ce n'est pas seulemement alimentaire, sinon je me fais des nouilles chez moi. Et puis si c'est "juste" pour se voir et discuter, pourquoi ne pas faire d'une occasion sympa, une occasion plus que sympa ?
Sinon j'en connais des endroits chouettes et pas forcément chers. Mais j'aime aussi qu'on m'en fasse connaître.